People’s way

 People are all different

And God bless them for that.

In a field as specific and psychologically oriented as BDSM, one must imperatively be very careful in neglecting not to take these differences into consideration.

In rl, ignoring the basic fact that we are not made of the same stuff, that we don’t come from the same background and thus don’t enjoy the same things the same way, only leads to deep misunderstanding, bitterness, drama, frustration and can cause important damages both physical and mental.

There is a huge gap between people who merely enjoy to be restrained in a playful manner and those who consider themselves as slaves, thus allowing the Domme’s point of view totally rule over their own taste and will.

Except that it must involve consenting adult partners and that common sense safety rules must be followed, there is no general code of conduct precisely and clearly defining what a BDSM relationship should be.

This is impossible as it would mean that we all live according to the same cultural codes, share an identical background or suffer the same trauma, think the same way and crave for the very same sexual and emotional needs.

It just don’t work this way in rl !

So what about sl then ?

Hey we are talking about a world where a Domme can own more than a dozen subs at the same time, where you can spend hours if not days bound in a most stringent manner without having to suffer any physical consequences and where one jumps into a game even if she has just met her partner five minutes before.

Things are so different here.

Sometimes it bugs me that some people’s sole and only contact with BDSM has to take place in a world which rules and codes lack of the substance such a sensitive and intense way of being usually calls for and where individuals seem to have this tendency to think that everyone is sharing their point of view about the way things should be done.

I perfectly know that life makes it hard or impossible for many people to live out their fantasy or just to express their sexual inclination and I am sincerely happy for them to be able to enjoy the best our favourite pixel world has to offer.

But a few things should be kept in mind:

Dommes and subs:

Don’t expect people to always share your vision of how things should be conducted

Read profile and don’t forget to fill out yours. Introduce yourself and the way you do or see things.

Before playing, make sure that both parties have agreed on a safe code or a way to communicate “out of character”.

Dommes:

Don’t take everything for granted just because you are wearing a “Mistress” tag above your head. Real respect is gained and not forced.

It is not because someone is wearing cuffs that she is a slave Gorean style. Know who you are dealing with before playing.

Caring for someone is not a sin nor a weakness.

Subs:

Always have your RealKey in the hands of someone you trust, just in case.

Using a safeword or letting your Domme know that you don’t feel comfortable with what is going on doesn’t mean that you fail her.

When leaving your keys out, never forget that there is a strong chance that you are the only one to have read the “mutual consent” code of conduct and other rules of the sim you just entered.

Clearly indicate in your profile limits that imperatively have to be respected as many Dommes have their own peculiar way of interpreting the word “limit”.

People are all different.

And God bless them for that.